Firstly, apologies to anyone (any of my handful of followers, that is) who was eagerly awaiting Llanidloes part 2; that is still ‘under development’. I’ve been busy of late having fun at Christmas meals, catching up with friends etc and disastrous Welsh fishing trips have not been on my mind.
So, having today given our terrier, Spider, her pre-Christmas rinse, I thought I’d talk about that. Bit of a slow news day I suppose. I should explain that Spider is our beloved Patterdale terrier, now rather old, poor of sight and hearing but still capable of remarkable turns of speed should a cat or pheasant appear in the garden or cooked meat be detected within lunging range. I may write a proper History of Spider blog to provide more background on her.
Anyway, several times a year there comes a point in a terrier owner’s life when you realise that your wonderful little companion has acquired a certain musty aura. A mustiness that she herself thinks is fine and worthy of transferring to you and your furniture whereas you suspect any visitors may think differently. Clearly it is time for a (whisper it) ….. bath.
Archive image above of a terrier who knows a bath is imminent
In my experience most dogs and especially terriers do not take kindly to being immersed in fragrant, foaming substances. Whilst the towelling off process afterwards may provide an opportunity to wrestle and lark about, plus there are usually treats given as compensation, the average terrier does not want to end up smelling like a branch of Lush on a hot day. So, I offer the following tips:
1) Be prepared. Make sure towels, shampoo, plastic jug etc are laid out in a secure, escape-proof place. The average bathroom should suffice so long as anything breakable is removed. In summer the whole process can be carried out in the garden and a hosepipe will prove useful. Also amusing. Chasing a terrier with a jet of water can be great fun; for you, not necessarily for the terrier.
2) Be stealthy. An experienced terrier can be remarkably adept at spotting or smelling bottles of doggy shampoo being moved around the house. Ditto jugs and towels. If your cover is blown you may find yourself in a game of hide and seek. Once all is in place….
3) Move decisively. If you have so far managed to hide your intentions, approach your terrier, swiftly lift it up and carry it straight to the bath. By now the terrier will have worked out what is happening so be prepared for escape attempts, energetic wriggling and so on. Put the terrier straight into the water and hold it there for a few moments. This will give your furry friend an opportunity to glare at you with an expression that usually combines doomed resignation and the sentiment, “You utter bastard”.
Top tip: if your terrier is particularly young and lively it is worth laying an old towel in the bathwater to stop claw damage from any high speed scrabbling during escape attempts. The first time we bathed Spider (in our realtively new bath) she charged around doing a fair impression of a Wall of Death motorcyclist and left the bath covered in scratches.
4) Bathe and rinse. Despite all previously noted objections to having a bath, I believe the average terrier secretly enjoys being rubbed and rinsed off with warm water. Similarly on hot days they don’t mind cold hosepipe water. This is the easy bit. Spider is so used to it that she lifts each leg in turn to be soaped and rinsed. Do not be fooled though; the most difficult part is almost upon you…
Have you ever seen such suffering? Image taken in 2010
5) Dry your terrier. On being extracted from the bath your terrier will once again try to wriggle free and escape. Or at the very least, try to shake very vigorously indeed. Outside in summer this is not so bad but when indoors this could lead to you having to redecorate. So, immediately wrap your terrier in a big towel and rub it as dry as you can. Be ready for further lunging and bolting for the door. Once again I’d say Spider, despite all the wriggling, actually likes being rubbed down.
Reapplying Eau du Jardin.
Savaging the towels.
6) Open the door to your garden. Now that your terrier is smelling sweetly of doggy shampoo, its first task will be to hurl itself around the garden, through hedges, shrubs etc in an attempt to shake off any remaining water and to reapply the smell of the great outdoors. Stand back. You cannot stop this and nor should you. Within approximately 15 minutes your terrier will be asleep, recovering from the exhausting trauma you caused.
Job done. Now go and clear up then have a cup of tea, glass of wine, shot of spirits to help you recover from the whole process.
Finally here is an image of Spider today at 17 years of age and just bathed. A treat has been had and snoring is imminent.
